ANiS HaDi

Got back from ktn yesterday at 7pm..Since today is a working day, after dropping off my cousin at his hse and sending my mothers amanah to my grandmother, hurried off back home..Really wanted to unpack my stuff and get ready to watch "Gol & Gincu : The Series"..hehe..

Once I reached my apartment, while I was taking out my bags from the car, I suddenly realised that I couldn’t find my hse keys..I searched everywhere for it, even in my car in case it fell from my handbag..But to no luck..So I called my sister, who so happens, did not follow me back to KL..She finally told me that my keys were with her..Felt like shouting my heart out..But what can I do..There’s no use of getting angry..Since I didnt have the keys to my hse and I was so tired from the 3 hour drive to KL, had to drive back from Kajang to my grandmother’s hse in Melawati to spend the nite..Luckily I had spare office clothes to wear today but had to borrow my aunties’ shirt and kain batik for the nite, hehe..Today, I have to meet my cousins husband in Putrajaya, who is going to pass me my hse keys, which my father passed to him yesterday since his bus from Ktn was at 1am..Thank God, there is someone who could pass me my hse keys, or else I’d have to meet my auntie who is working in Bentong to get them from her and Bentong is like 1 hour drive from KL..What a waste of petrol..Even worst, if there was no relatives working in KL and Bentong, have to buy new clothes to go to work..What a good reason to go shopping..Hahaha..

Got a new haircut today..Actually wanted to do it yesterday but due to unavoidable circumstances (to long to tell), had to forward it today..Normally, my visit to the hairdresser would just be to trim my hair..But felt like doing something different..Plus, the haircut was only RM3..It was done by a student..Had to grab the opportunity..Not often do I get to have a haircut for only that price..The cheapest I can get in KL is RM10….Cant complain much can I..Thats Y when they suggested that I use a junior stylist, I refused coz, dont wanna pay extra when I can get 3 haircuts for the price of a junior stylist..Besides, I’m wearing tudung anyways, who’s gonna see how my hair looks like, hehehe..

I know, its not a big deal, going for a haircut but for me it is..To tell u the truth, during my primary school years, as I was studying in a Methodist girls school, our hair must be short..It’s either you have it short or you have to tie it up in a bun..Since it would take ages for my hair to grow long enuff to tie it into a bun, the only option was to chop it off..haha..And after every visit to the hairdresser, my parents would hear whining, sulking and even tears from me..Thats how bad I felt after losing my hair..

As I grew older and the need for me to have short hair no longer exist, the whining stops as I can enjoy my hair as long as I want it to be..haha..That is why, my visit to the hairdresser would only be to trim my hair..As I can recall, the last time I had my hair short was while I was doing A-Levels in Kolej Mara Banting..Cant recall why I wanted it but at that time, it felt really great..Ringan je rasa..hehe..But then after my haircut today..waaa..Sob,sob… Rasa nak nangis, when I saw the girl cutting my very thick hair into layers (That was what I requested)..I still kept it at the same length but not as thick as before..The feeling of regret suddenly rushed into me..Why did I ask her to cut it..Mite as well leave it as it is and just trim it a bit..But what to do, dah potong pun..Have to wait until it gets longer and see the results..If I’m not satisfied with the results, then I can return back to my usual hairstyle..

On the way back from the hairdresser, my youngest sister had to listen to my whining on whether my hair was too short, comparing with other ppls hairstyle as they pass by and whether my hair was shorter than theirs..I know its a terrible habit but cant help it if I have extra love for my hair..haha..Have been keeping it for like 8 years..Since someone dear to me prefers me with long hair..And that was something good for me as I get to keep it long..Waaa..Got back home and showed it to my mum and even she said my hair looks thinner..Takpelah mak, nanti rambut dah panjang, tak nak potong layer dah..Nyesal!!

Hopefully, it grows longer in a few weeks time..Bye2 dearest hair..Gonna miss u…

Took a test today..A test that would qualify me to the next level to become a teacher..Boy was it hard..I have myself to blame..Didnt make an effort to study earlier..Maths was the toughest part for me to do..It’s not that I’m not good at it..It’s just that I’ve left it for like almost 10 years..The simple ones wasnt a problem to me, only the ones that I dont encounter in my daily routine as a banker..Purata had laju lah..Set lah..Areas..N even some algebra Q’s..haha..Meaning almost all except the plus, minus, times and divide..But that also required some amount of time coz I normally do it using the calculator..I felt so stupid..How can I not know how to do Maths..I used to be very good at it..Scored A1 for SPM..I even had to ask my sister to teach me..

Probably given more time, to study and to answer the Q’s, I could have done better..I had to finish 30 Q’s in 30 mins..Imagine that..Maybe becoz I was paying too much attention on answering 1 Q until I get the answer that I didnt notice the time moving fast..I was supposed to use only 1 min for each Q..How could I be so careless..What to do, its all done with..Just have to wait for the results..But thankfully, Maths wasnt the only Q..There were English Q’s, Q’s that test our characters, analytical and verbal (Malay Language, I guess)..Praying for the best..

Previously, during the interview for my current job, we also had to take this kind of test but we were allowed to use a calculator..Furthermore, it was a bit advanced as we had to use a software on the computer..So, it was paperless..Ez.. But then just now, I had to do the same thing I use to do during my school years..Filling the OMR form..haha..I guess the govts’ are not that advanced yet..Its impossible for them to cater this type of facility for all the candidates applying for a govt job..Mati lah dorg, kan..hehe..Dahlah, malas nak pikir..If it was meant to be, it will..For the time being, continue seeking other alternatives to secure a job near my hometown..Hoping for the best..

My superior was on leave yesterday, so i had the opportunity to go back early and go for a jog..Really felt great..Its been a long time since I went for a jog and breathe the cool fresh air..However, jog yesterday was alone..My usual jogging partner was on leave but it doesnt mean I cant jog without her rite..Talk about being an independent woman, hehehe..Sorry mal..So, did two rounds of nonstop running around KLCC park..I know, that not so good but thats what I can manage..Dont want to do more than I could coz I mite end up spraining my ankle or something..Just need to do it constantly..30 mins of jogging is considered good u know..It’s already what u need to keep being healthy..

While waiting for my sister (coz she was out with friends and we would be going back home together), I read thru this article again from Christian Carter titled Being the Woman a Man wants to commit To..It was interesting..He was explaining how girls normally do the wrong things that makes a man run away from them..Such as being overprotective, always starting an argument and takes the opposite perspective of things and always doing favours for the other person in hope of gaining something more from the relationship..Another eg. is a person who has conflicting emotions, where at first they act as tho the relationship was something casual but when treated the way they wanted it to be, suddenly they want something else..These are all referring to an uncool person..

Whilst a cool person refers to someone whose always wanted by other ppl and be comfortable with, someone whose always on other ppls mind when gatherings are held, someone where ppl can be really open around them and she knows how to act in every single situation whether it being when the person is sad or happy or mad about something, they would always come up with a good response in any situation so ppl are comfortable in sharing a part of their lives with them..

This cool and uncool concept could refer to both male and females..It doesnt mean that only women have to be uncool ones..U can trust me when I say, there are some guys out there, not all, are also so unCOOL..hehe, No offence guys, men and women nowadays are equal..

His advise to these uncool ppl is to master these 4 things..Being independent in ur thots, being comfortable without "control", being "present" and finally, observing ur emotions..

Basically, what it means is that..For the first one, the description of being dependent is when, you lean on others and look to them for approval, ask what they think before making a decision and mostly your feelings tend to depend on what others feel and think of you..But when being INDEPENDENT, u lean back, do things because YOU decide u wanted to, u don’t ask others what they think - instead u decide for urself that u are fine walking away from ur friends for a while when u’re out, and ur feelings are controlled by what YOU think, not
what others think or feel…Ur most comfortable in doing ur own thing, and
enjoying whatever happens because that’s what u want, to enjoy urself no matter what..

The second one, being comfortable without "control".. A person who isn’t so deeply ATTACHED to each and every immediate outcome, on the other hand,
takes things as they come, and handles them calmly as part of everyday life..When you are ATTACHED to the outcome of a situation so strongly, that it makes you want to control the way another person thinks or feels, it often makes you act crazy… On the other hand, when you’re comfortable with not CONTROLLING the outcome to be exactly what you want in that moment, and you know that the world is bigger than what you’re focusing on, it makes
you MAGNETIC…Remember, comfort in the face of uncertainty is the
ultimate way to show a LACK of insecurity in life..

The third part, being "present"..There’s nothing more INTOXICATING to one partner when its significant other knows how to get them out of their head, and their "rational" thinking, and draw them into being close and emotionally connected…Any significant other who can do this WITHOUT pushing the partner to get there with them, or complaining when they r not as quick to respond as they’d like, have an even bigger advantage when it comes to the partner wanting to spend their time with them…It’s called being "present"…Things are happening so fast, and u’re so completely immersed in what u’re doing, that a few extraordinary things happen without you having to "try"..

Finally is observing ur emotions..Most uncool people don’t naturally attract others to want to be around them and are not very good at managing THEIR OWN emotions…This means getting to a place where u are CONSCIOUS of how ur emotions work and knowing urself well enough to separate the intense emotions inside u from the events of the outside world and your own behavior…That way you have a CHOICE about what to do with ur emotions…In a sense, this is one of the greatest purposes and goals in life - to figure out how to have the emotional experiences you dream of…If you can first get yourself to the place where you’re comfortable and confident with your creating your own emotional experience, and having it be the kind of experience ur partner will want to share, then you’ll find that taking things to the next level with ur partner will be about 10 times easier..You have to learn how to be comfortable and get to a place on your own where you make others feel comfortable being with you, at any time..

So guys, if u can master all these 4 things, u can actually get someone u like to probably have more interest towards u and finally notice u..Being the COOL person that everyone wants to be with, that could even make the person u like to feel left behind if their not part of ur life..So are u up to it? I know, its easier said than done, but there’s no harm in trying..Probably we can share with each other if it finally works out..hehe..See ya..

Yesterday was a heavenly sunday..My parents were on their way to a relatives wedding, but my sister and I didnt go along coz they were heading off straight back to Kuantan..So, both of us stayed at home after being away from it for so long..Plans were made in advance by my sister with her friends and at the last minute, all of it were cancelled coz both of us were so tired..Plus, home needed a bit of a cleaning..

Got the chance to watch the rerun of a few of my favourite TV shows..Not staying at home made me miss them..Normally on Tuesday, I wont miss a marathon of Charmed, The OC and North Shore..And once in a while, I get to watch Grey’s Anatomy, either a rerun or the scheduled one on Wednesday or Thursday, cant recall..

So, yesterday’s series of Grey’s Anatomy was particularly interesting..There was 4 parts of it..

First, was about George, who got rashes after making out with one of the nurses..He was so worried bout it and didnt know what to do..Came up to Alex and asked him what it was..He even showed it to him, haha..So Alex told him that he had syphilis..To confirm it, George went for a blood test..And the results proved it true..While looking at the results, Izzie kinda got to see the blood test results and finally told him to be honest to the girl..She told him that the girl probably caught it from some other guy..He was a bit scared to confront her at first but went thru with it..He told the girl that he got syphilis..The girl was shocked and just ran away..And rumour went around that there was other staffs in the hospital who was infected by spyhilis so, every staff of the hospital had to do check ups..

Then, there was the Chief of Surgery named Richard, who wasnt feeling quite well and after a few test, he discovered that he had tumor..To keep it confidential, he ask Derek, who did the test for him to set up a secret team to perform an operation to get rid of the tumor..The risk was that he could become blind..Fortunately, after the surgery, everything turned out fine and he kinda saw the intimacy between Meredith and Derek..He advised her to not get involved with co-workers..But Meredith was finally glad that her secret was out in the open..

And then third, there was Burke’s friend who was diagnosed to have an ovari..I find it hard to believe but there it was..So when Burke told his friend, his friend was worried but when Burke asked him how he was, he was actually fine with it since his wife was carrying his baby..At first I thot that was possible but then there was this scene between him and the wife arguing that she shud tell her husband the truth that the baby wasn’t his..Hmm..But the wife refused..She didnt want to ruin their happy marriage but to Burke, he told her that his husband had and needed to know the truth..It wasn’t fair for him and for the baby..He finally stressed to her that as a friend, he would not tell him but as a doctor, it was his obligation to tell his patient the truth..

The fourth part was about this old man whose stomach was suddenly bloated..After a few test, it was discovered that he had liquids in his stomach so they had to pump it out..While doing it, suddenly they lost him..They werent satisfied and wanted to do an autopsy..However, the mans family refused..To make things worst, they did it anyways..Miranda was so mad but she went thru with it when Izzie and Cristina discovered something from the autopsy..

In the end, Meredith found out that Derek actually had a wife or a relationship with someone else..Burke confronted his best friend and told him the sad news..As for George, the nurse came up to him and told him that she actually had a relationship with another doctor in the hospital but she ended it when she felt really comfortable with George..To his dismay, she told him that she had a relationship with Alex and he was so mad that he punched Alex and a fight began changing room but other ppl in the room managed to calm them down..While for the old man, it turns out that the old man had some kind of disease and it was genetic..They told his daughter that its better to do an early test to make sure they get rid of it before it becomes critical..So, they agreed and Izzie and Cristina got away with what they did..

What I learnt from this series is that, it’s best to get ur secret out in the open but u must be prepared for the consequences..No matter how hard it is, its better and fairer for everyone involved..Tho its going to hurt many hearts and feelings, sooner or later, the truth will prevail and no matter what u do at that point of time would have already affected the people involved..So, if u have a secret, think carefully before keeping one and before letting it out in the open coz no matter what u decide, make sure of the consequences of it to ur loved ones and people dear to ur heart..U never know, something good might come out of letting ur secret out in the open..

It makes me wonder..Hmm..Shud I or shud I not??

Till then..

Just got back to work today after 3 days of leave..And as usual, loads of work to do but I managed to clear my desk and it seemed like I had no work pending, hehe (I wish)..Once I entered the office, my big boss was already commenting that he thot I wasnt going to come to the office..If only I could..

To tell u the truth, I was actually due back to KL yesterday but as my dad was called back due to an urgent meeting, the holiday was cut short..So, didnt get to go to Thailand..Or else, my relatives who were staying there cud have taken us to Thailand on the day we left to KL..Sob, sob..What to do, have to take a rain check and visit Thailand next time..The funny thing was, on Friday, while I was about to do my Asar prayers, suddenly remembered that I forgot to bring my passport, so I called my bro to pick it up at home..Once I reached my grandma’s house (since we were supposed to depart to Kedah from there), my mum told me that she also forgot to bring hers and my other two siblings passport..Pergh..I thot, I was the forgetful one, hehe..But then again, tho I brought my passport, didnt get the chance to go anyways..Next time then..

Trip to Alor Setar was considered ok..Alor Setar was a bit behind on the development phase..Kuantan is much more developed than Alor Setar but as my bro quotes it, it got to be ‘Bandaraya’ becoz of its population..Reached there around 2am..We stayed at Grand Continental coz it was already booked by one of my dads ppl..He was actually playing for the VIP Golf tournament but dont ask me the results, hehe..Probably due to lack of sleep, hehe..The hotel was so, so but I’ve seen worst, hehe (Masa kecik2 pegi tour KL with primary school friends, still remember the hotel)..To compare it with Mandarin Oriental, of course the difference was huge..We kinda made fun of it too, from Mandarin Oriental to Grand Continental..But what to do, it was sponsored by the ppl my father worked with, so had to accept it..Luckily we get to experience all this, unlike some ppl who dont even get the opportunity to stay in a decent hotel..So, we’re actually grateful for it..As for Mandarin Oriental also, we wudnt even have the chance to stay there if not becoz of the job my dad landed that provided us with the luxury of staying in such a hotel..

During our stay, we visited the famous Pekan Rabu..Things were not that cheap…Most of the price quoted were quite the same as the ones in KL but then again, probably becoz it was one of the main attractions there, so ppl tend to quote higher price for things..My mum bought a few things there that was ordered by her friends..As usual, I normally accompany her when she does her shopping..Didnt want her to walk alone..She kinda likes to ask my advise on things, so being the eldest, I feel its my responsibility to tend to her wants and needs, whenever I’m available..

Went to Menara Alor Setar on Monday..The view was breathless..Got to see all the paddy fields surrounding Alor Setar itself..It was amazing..Took a few photo’s with the whole family but cudnt get the view in it..And as usual, a visit to the shopping mall is a must..There were two shopping malls there, one was below Holiday Inn (dont recall the name), while the other one was Star Parade..Hmm, things sold there were not that pricy considering the fact that it was not the kind of supermarket we have in KL..But still they were eye catching..Got my eye on a few things but didnt manage to buy it coz was to late in deciding whether I shud purchase it or not, hehe..Budget! Budget!Did buy a necklace and a jacket in the other shopping mall tho, hehe..Cant help it, was such a bargain..Excuses, hehe..

Finding a decent place to eat was also quite hard..Of course our only option was to go where we saw a lot of ppl eating there..So, we ate at the Stadium as there were many stalls there and there were a lot of ppl eating there too..And also at Pekan Rabu as it was near our hotel…Didnt want to wander around clueless to find a place to eat..Next time, need to check out interesting spots to eat in Alor Setar..

We got back to KL on Tuesday..It was rainy that day plus my dad was in a hurry coz he had a meeting in KL at 4pm…So didnt get the chance to make a last trip to the shops there..What the heck, theres always next time..

When we reached KL, we checked in straight into the hotel..My dad headed off to his meeting while my mum took a rest for a while before we went down for lunch cum dinner..After lunch, dozed off for a while and woke up when my bro from Melaka arrived and hurried us to go for karaoke..He had a ticket for a one hour free visit..We reached the place around 12 and had to wait coz there were no rooms available..Once his name was called, we went into the room and sang our hearts out..It was so fun..This was the first time all of us were together for karaoke..Before this, its either my sister was in London or my smallest sister was not in KL or my bro’s were in Melaka and Kuala Kangsar…All not in KL while I was the only loyal KL resident, hehe…We laughed at each other, made funny remarks to each other and sang together..I really really enjoyed it..Hope we can do it again sometime..

The next day, the whole family went to have lunch together and we stopped by at my grandma’s hse to pick up the clothes we left before the journey to Alor Setar..At nite, my dad, my mum, my sisters and me went to the gym together and fully utilise the equipments there..Will be doing it again today so have to finish work fast and go back to the hotel..Not often do I get the chance to enjoy a trip to the gym at nite coz normally I have to get to the car before it gets dark (if I use the office gym)..So dont want to waste this opportunity..Till I write again..Soon…

I’ve been receiving mails from this guy Christian Carter giving me love advise..Since its free and i can actually get knowledge from it, never blocked it out from my mails..And I find this mail, particularly interesting..It doesnt actually mean when our relationship is going smoothly, we shudnt hear love advise but its good in case some of our friends go thru this kind of situation and we know the proper advise we could give her..So, indulge guys..

Dear Anis,

I’ve got a fascinating story for you. Tell me if it sounds familiar..

You’re hanging out talking with some friends, when all of a sudden the conversation turns to a common topic - love and relationships. And each woman at the table starts talking about the situation she’s in and all the amazing things about it. At first you’re enjoying the stories and you’re happy for your friends. But then it hits you…

You are the only person there who ISN’T in an ongoing positive relationship. Everyone else at the table has someone in their life who they’re excited and optimistic about. Everyone else has something "real". Everyone except you. You’re ALONE… and that guy who you "date", without the relationship going anywhere, well – he doesn’t cut it.

So you stop for a second and think, "Maybe it’s me…". "Maybe it’s not all because of the way men are, but how I am. That explains why I don’t have real love in my life." As you think about this for a second, you can’t help but feel a little lonely all of a sudden, and a small twinge of sadness wells up inside. But as these feelings start to grow, you know inside that you deserve better, and you wish the feeling would just go away. But it doesn’t… and the last thing you want to do is "go there" in front of your friends. Especially since they just got through telling all of their great stories. You don’t want them to know how you really feel right now… and you wish this feeling and problem would just go away.

You think to yourself: "Why does love and a relationship with a man have to be so difficult?", "If only men weren’t so difficult to be with." But then your "protective" side kicks in, and you start fighting these feelings and tell yourself:

"I don’t need a man.", "I’m happy with my life as it is.", "I’m happy to be single and focus on myself right now, instead of wasting my time and energy in a dead-end situation with a man.", "Men are all screwed up and trouble anyways, and I don’t need that in my life right now." Ahhhh… it starts to work and you calm down and regain your "cool". But somewhere deep down inside, you know why you felt sad - Seeing all your friends happy in their love lives reminded you of something…

For all the reasons you have to be happy, and all the ways you can convince other people (and yourself) that you’re fulfilled, you REALLY DO want something much, much better. You want a REAL CONNECTION. You want to share REAL LOVE and BE LOVED. And you wonder how long you can avoid the reality that these things are MISSING from your life by staying busy and taking care of other areas of life. You know you can’t go on this way forever. Something has to change. There HAS to be something better out there for you. Or else what’s it all for?

But then you remember…It’s been months, maybe even years, since you’ve actually made the time and space in your life to meet and connect with the kind of man who could bring great things back into your love life. And in fact, the idea of "dating" sounds like a complete and utter NIGHTMARE. Sitting through a date listening to some bozo, who has no idea how to really connect with you, ramble on about himself, would just make you feel even more hopeless and alone. So you’ve basically shut out of your life, the idea of dating and going out with men, for more than friendship. But then how are you supposed to meet and connect with a great guy? And how did EVERYONE ELSE around you manage to become CLOSE and COMMITTED with a good guy, while you’re having an impossible time finding a guy who isn’t totally clueless? Do they know something you don’t? Are you just UNLUCKY in love… and not meant to have a great relationship for yourself? Are they somehow more attractive than you are? Why does it have to be so difficult? And why does it have to be such a "game"?

***End of story**

Ok, I know I got a little "heavy" on you there, but it’s for your own good. This story is basically a myth… a collection of common situations, fears, beliefs, etc. that women experience. And in case you didn’t notice, a lot of what was going on here in the story had to do with a woman’s own limiting thoughts, frustrations and negative beliefs about men, dating and relationships. If you identified with a few of these thoughts, fears, etc. then I want you to recognize something…

Some women have VERY FEW of these negative and limiting thoughts. While other women have TONS. I’m talking 10, 20, 30 and 50 times a day here. And what do you think that does for a woman? Or for you?

Let’s try something new today - an exercise. Take a second and imagine something for me…

Picture in your mind a woman you know who’s either single or in a "troubled" relationship. Make sure you have a clear picture of her in your mind. Now I want you to imagine her having negative thoughts and fears like the ones we’ve been talking about here. In fact, I also want you to give her some of the fears and negative thoughts that you have. And now… concentrate on how these thoughts make her FEEL and ACT. See how they affect her emotions, her attitude and even her body language. I’ll give you a second to picture this clearly in your mind…

Ok, now imagine a situation comes up for her uncertain situation with the man in her life. Picture her emotions, her thoughts and how she communicates to the man in her life in your head. I’ll give you a second to think about this and imagine it happening in your mind.

…

…

I’ll give you another minute.

Ok, come on back.

Now, I want you answer a question for me - How did all of her negative thoughts affect how she interacted with her guy? Did they help guide her to positive and constructive communication that brought them CLOSER together? Or did it tend to make communication with him MORE DIFFICULT and create DISTANCE? I’m sure you came up with all kinds of fascinating insights and realizations, but here’s what I want you to see here…Communicating from a place of fear and insecurity with a man will more often create DISTANCE than it will bring you and a man together. Unless the guy you’re with is ALREADY an expert at communicating and dealing with these things himself, and who keeps your fears from coming between you both. If only men were experts when it came to having open, lasting relationships and communicating in ways that would bring you closer, right? Wouldn’t that be nice. Well, the truth is men are RARELY experts in these area. And sure… a man COULD come along and be such a wonderful and amazing guy that he would help make relationships and communicating easier. But if that doesn’t happen, or the great guy you do find doesn’t happen to have these natural skills and abilities (and by the way, most men don’t)…

Then guess what? It’s up to YOU.He’s not going to make it work FOR YOU.

In fact, the reality is that as you are first becoming close with a man, he’s more likely totrigger your own fears than to help resolve them. I’m not telling you about this right now just because I’m trying to teach you some "mumbo jumbo" about how thoughts, energy and intention work together…(Which they do.)

But for another simple reason - There’s something you can do right now to DRAMATICALLY improve the level of connection and intimacy you have in your love life. It all starts in one place. Paying attention to HOW YOU THINK. On a basic level, your own patterns of THINKING and FEELING lead to the ACTIONS you take and the BEHAVIOR you display. And guess what can create a "negative filter" on your THINKING and FEELINGS?

FEAR. And if you’re finding that your actions and behaviors aren’t "naturally" attracting good men and creating healthy long term relationships…then you’ve got something to look at right now - Your own thoughts and emotions, and your own fears. And, of course, you could worry about HIS ISSUES too, but let’s save working on him for later when you’re up to speed on all this for yourself.

GETTING PAST FEAR, "CONNECTING" ON A DEEP LEVEL, AND MAKING MEN ADDICTED TO YOUR RELATIONSHIP…

Ok, let’s get to some real ANSWERS here.

What do you DO when you have negative, fearful, limiting thoughts and situations going on in your mind that are affecting your love life?

Well, I’m not going to tell you that all women who are single or in "dead-end" relationships are in that place in their life JUST BECAUSE they think and feel in "fear-based" and "self-limiting" ways. But do the math. What kind of women do you think men "naturally" gravitate towards? What kind of women do you think men "instinctively" feel good when they’re around, even if they don’t know why? What kind of women do you think men understand, on a subconscious level and make great long term partners? Right again.

Women who are in CONTROL of their own fears and emotions when it comes to men, dating and relationships. Why? It’s NOT because feelings and emotions are themselves bad…Feelings and emotions are probably the most beautiful part of what makes us human and allows us to experience the world in a deep and meaningful way. But, what I’m talking about here is NEGATIVE feelings.

Because negative feelings, more often than not, lead to NEGATIVE EMOTIONAL EXPERIENCES. And women who are in CONTROL of their EMOTIONAL EXPERIENCES and who have a handle on their own emotional state, know how to do something that other women can’t and will never be able to fake..They know how to consistently create more POSITIVE EMOTIONAL EXPERIENCES with men. On one level, it really is that simple.

In practice, it’s much harder. The truth is that men are attracted to one woman and not another largely because of the way that one woman makes them FEEL. And NOT because of what logically sound qualities each person and the relationship has. ATTRACTION and CONNECTION have their own "logic".

I’ll say it again so you can really hear it this time -A man is attracted to a woman and wants to be with her, and only her, because of the way he FEELS when he’s around her. And not for any other reason. Not even if the women is the most loving, caring, sweet, generous, and intelligent woman in the world. I’m even going to "translate" this for you so you’re sure to start seeing it more clearly - Translation: The emotional experiences that a man has when he’s around a woman are the single most powerful reasons why he either wants a long term relationship, or doesn’t. And to make this even more clear, let me tell you what this DOESN’T mean…It DOESN’T mean that a man wants to be with a woman because he VALUES a relationship and having true love in his life. Or that a woman can be so good to a man and do so many loving and generous things for him that he recognizes the LOGICAL value of staying with her

and makes the "right" decision. Feelings and emotions have their own logic, which has NOTHING to do with what makes "sense" or what is "fair". And the sooner you accept this as true about men, the easier EVERYTHING in your love life and relationship will become.

CREATING A DEEP LEVEL OF "EMOTIONAL ATTRACTION" THAT WILL LEAD TO A LASTING RELATIONSHIP

So how do you make a man FEEL when he’s around you? What are the conscious and subconscious emotional reactions and responses he’s likely to be having with you, based on your emotions and your behavior? Take a minute and think about it.

…..

…..

Here’s the bottom line…

A woman who can communicate to a man on a deeper level that she’s AWARE and IN CONTROL of her own experience and "emotional" state will make a man feel INTENSE ATTRACTION for her on that same emotional level.

She’s an "emotionally attractive" woman, which can tell a man all kinds of things about her BEYOND the PHYSICAL ATTRACTION and interest he might have.

On the other hand…Women who DON’T have a handle on these things have quite a different affect on men - These women can still usually make men feel PHYSICAL ATTRACTION… but they often set off all kinds of conscious and subconscious "warning signs" in a man’s mind. Signals that then become FEELINGS and EMOTIONS inside the man that tells him to RUN. And under no circumstance commit himself and attach his emotional experience to hers. Here’s the strangest part about women who send off these "warning signals" to men…Most women do this largely ON ACCIDENT. That’s right. Lots of women actually trigger negative responses inside a man’s mind while doing things they think are FOR THE GOOD of the relationship. How’s that for COUNTERPRODUCTIVE?

And hey… I know it might bother you to hear some of what I’m saying. And that you probably  have been more caring and generous with your thoughts and emotions in your past situations with men than they were with you.

I get that. But someone needs to tell you how men really and truly think when it comes to women and relationships. And of course men have their own specialized set of "baggage" and fears too. But let me ask you…

What do you know, FROM EXPERIENCE, will happen if a man doesn’t deal with his own fears about women and relationships?

DISASTER.

I’m talking withdrawal, break-ups, cheating, lying, etc. The list goes on.

But if a guy takes the time and develops the "emotional maturity" to think about the negative and limiting fears HE HAS about women and relationships…And finds a healthy level of AWARENESS and CONTROL around these…Then this is the kind of guy that women will "naturally" be drawn to and enjoy being with. Your first step to creating a situation with a man where you BOTH feel the level of CONNECTION and ATTRACTION that will create and support a LASTING RELATIONSHIP is to accept that MEN DON’T MAKE SENSE.

Why?

Because remember, our EMOTIONS don’t follow a logical or "rational" path.

So, guys how do u find it..Interesting?!Tho its quite long the message is there..I really find mails from this guy interesting..Wud keep u updated..

Today, office was so hectic..Got in the office this morning and was already summoned to my superiors desk with all his list of task for me to do..I normally find my superior being away as such a relief coz i wouldnt be bothered with Q’s like "what are u doing rite now?", "Can you help me photostat this", "Can you prepare this", "Can you check this" etc..Its as if i’m the clerk and secretary here..I’d be helping other ppl while my work keeps piling up..And today was the worst..

I was actually lectured for not informing him on a matter which suddenly become urgent all of a sudden..And I was not the one at fault in the first place, but as usual, what I normally do is just keep quiet and curse inside, hehe..What can I do..No matter how mad I am, still, I’d have to resolve it..So just listen and take note of what I was supposed to do..Luckily I only have to pass it up by Monday so I have to finish it by this Friday..Hopefully that wouldnt be a problem..

Then again, the tonnes of work I have piling on my desk still needs clearing up before I go on leave next week..I’ve been ‘warned’ to clear up my reviews before I leave but what can I do, I’m just a normal human being with two hands and one brain..How am I suppose to cope with all of it..Just do what I can..Lantaklah, nak kena marah, marahlah..In the end, they still need the work to be done..And I’m the one who has to finish it..

Truthfully, I’m not really fond of working for the bank anymore..At first I thot working in corporate banking was so glamourous, in the sense that you get to deal with corporate customers..But i tend to overlook the fact that corporate clients are the ones that really need pampering..They want us to do everything for them, give low rates, entertain their request….Furthermore, we have to compete with other bankers for them to bank with us..Pergh, thats actually tough, given the limitations of the Bank I’m working rite now..What to do, have to catch up with the KPI..OMG, work sucks..

Plus, now I’m even doing my clerks job coz she is busily chatting with her friends online and keeps all the work we give her pending until in the end, we have to do it ourselves..Even answering the phone, if one of my colleagues are not at their place, I’d have to answer them..Its not like I’m complaining here but my work is affected coz I need to take messages and entertain all this unnecessary calls..If only she could help answer all the calls rather than wait for other ppl to answer it..But then again, what to do, in work or life u have to give and take..No matter how busy I am that day, I’d still have to answer the phone while my clerk is busily chit chatting on the MSN with her friends talking about furniture, medicine and gossiping around..Cant wait until I get another job and change into a new environment where I can learn new behaviours and attitude of ppl and how to adapt and handle them..Adios!!

Yesterday (21-05-06), there was an event at my uncle’s house..My cousin was having a ‘cukur jambul’ ceremony for her son..At the beginning, everything was going on fine..Was so happily taking pictures with my siblings, mother, cousins and most importantly the highlight of the event, the baby himself..Then, while we were eating, I heard this Q being addressed to me, which I have been dreading to hear whenever there was any ceremonies in the family..So, as always, my answer would be the sweetest smile that I can give..

Then again, when it was time to go back, the topic came up again, while ber’salam’2 with the elders..And like my previous reply, I could only answer with a smile..Only close relatives know what Q has been pressuring me all these while..Really cant do anything about it..The blame is only on my shoulders..How hard I push it, if it was never meant to be, nothing would happen..I’m accepting it now..I’m really trying my best to forgive and forget..Hope it would be a lifetime lesson for me..Should never disobey ur elders..What I can do now is go on with my life and my only prayers is that may Allah does what He feels best for me and prepare me for it coz He knows better..

Metrojaya preview sale was held yesterday..For those not interested in the word ’shopping’ mite find it very boring but for the shopping enthusiast out there, yesterday was the day they were waiting for..Metrojaya cardmembers were entitled to additional discounts on selected items..

I’m also one of those shopping enthusiast only that i’ve cut down on my spending recently..Dunno how, while I was taking a walk in the mall (yup u mite say window shopping, hehe) last thursday, noticed a few skirts that really attracted.. I asked the salesgirl there whether there were any sales coming soon and was so excited when they told me it was on the 17th, which was yesterday, hehe..

So, when yesterday came, I fully utilised my lunch time and after office hours to SHOP!!hehe..Lunch went to Metrojaya in Bukit Bintang, bought something there, hehe..And after office went to Midvalley, also brought something there..hehe..Felt so relieved as if all the stress I’ve been carrying were swept away..Impossible but true, hehe..Plus shopping is something I can hardly resist..Even if it means buying something cheap but nice..Haven’t been shopping for like 2 months, so this is kind of a reward for me since I managed to resist the shopping urge for 2 months..(Excuses!!, hehe)

What was really great was that, when u pay using RHB Creditcard, u get to do a lucky dip..So out of the 3 lucky dips, 2 was a RM20 Metrojaya Gift Voucher and the other one was a Superman poster (will just give it to my Bro)..Thats y, I felt so lucky b4 dipping in my hands into the box..A couple b4 me got a Superman T-shirt..I’d rather get the voucher that the T-shirt but then again, it all depends on luck..Wiiii!!…I was actually shaking, hehe..This was the second time I got lucky..B4 this, I won a DVD player at Carrefour..It was a memorable time for me..Maybe to some people its nothing but I dont get that lucky often..So, I’m just glad it happened to me yesterday coz it really cheered my day..Cheers!!